A Lone Thought

Talking to a friend on MSN, she showed me a quote from one of her friends personal messages

Christians are drawn to the light, in this way they are on the same intellectual level as the moth.

Amazed at the sheer wit and genius of this brilliant brilliant sentence, I promptly put it in my personal message for the whole world of my contact list to see. I then said to my friend I bet my brother was going to see it, and go and tell mum. To my amazement, he didn't.

When I stepped out of the shower, 5 hours later, wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around my waist, I went into my brothers room nextdoor to the shower to talk to him about something. After this brief encounter, I was just at the doorway when mum promptly appeared, blocking my path.

Mum: What's this I hear about your brother telling me you're not being a christian anymore?
Me: No, I'm not.
Mum: So you don't believe in God?
Me: Nup.
Mum: *drops jaw* HOW COULD YOU?! AFTER EVERYTHING I'VE TAUGHT YOU!

I was somewhat nervous at this stage, however I was speaking in a smart, informed, I-know-what-I'm-talking-about kind of voice, which was really really useful - and cool.

Me: It's all rubbish.
Mum: No more Christmas presents for you then.

I then tried to tell her Christmas was a more secular festivity than a christian one as she stormed down the hallway to the living room to supposedly get away from me. I had been smart enough to look up some information about Christmas previously before, in case I ever had to argue my point. Unfortunately though my knowledge on why and how it's now a secular holiday was limited, so could hardly argue my point. It wouldn't of mattered anyway, because she was barely listening.

She then spoke to my Dad
Mum: You know what he just told me? He doesn't believe in God!
Dad: What!?

After some introductory kerfuffle to introduce Dad to this stunning revelation things got back on their way.

Mum: What are you gonna be then - MUSLIM?!
I replied calmly: No, an atheist.

Their mouths dropped. They both screamed at the same time "AN ATHEIST!??!?!"

Mum then began screaming at me, calling me evil, how disappointed in me she was after everything she'd taught me, she would be moving me from my Catholic school to a really crappy one, as well as some other stuff too. I then went back to my room. I wanted to get dressed! As I entered my room I heard Dad say "just accept the fact that- and," then his voice trailed off. Instead of getting dressed, I began telling my friend, the same friend whom gave me the quote, all about what was happening. Soon after, the internet had turned off. Mum had turned off the router. Great... Now I was gonna go out there in an attempt to turn it back on, and Mum would be waiting for me. And went out I did!

As I walked into the living room I turned and saw my Mum, standing next to the router. She was glaring at me with pure hatred. I asked why she turned the internet off? She replied "YOU'RE EVIL! PURE EVIL! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT" I then burst out laughing at her. She kept screaming at me right in front of me. I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Eventually I settled down and said, "this is exactly the sort of response I expected from you."

A conversion then pursued on whether the Bible was rubbish or not. Eventually it got to a stage where she started making up excuses.
Me: Right. So the Bible teaches us good values RAPING CHILDREN AND DESTROYING CITIES. Noah's Ark - you know what that is? GENOCIDE
Mum: Oh that's just the Old Testament

Oh how I wish my knowledge of the New Testament was greater that day... the wickedness of Jesus... his terrible, useless advice... how it would have come in handy. Of course, I interjected none the less

Me: NO - you can't say that! People think we get our values from that!

I think I actually meant to say ethics and/or morals. Oh well, not like it would've made a difference.

With the help of my cat creating a distraction, I was able to slip past Mum as she went to stop the cat destroying the bookcase that was next to me, switched on the internet, and then turned around to continue our conversation. More carrying on ensued, with a particular fondness of the world evil. She seemed to use it a lot. In hindsight, this is actually quite interesting. I'm inclined to think she was indoctrinated as a child that atheists are evil, pure evil, and out to spill their hatred on everyone else in the world.

Ironically, my Dad is in fact an atheist. When we were young and my brother and I asked him why he never went up to receive Communion he said it was because he didn't believe in God. Oh ok fair enough. I didn't see what the difference, big deal, or anything was. Nothing! Just thought it was odd he didn't go up to eat some weird old bread. He identifies himself as an Anglican. He thinks religion has its important place in the world, and leaves it at that. He might've fooled Mum, but I know better. You don't get to have it both ways. He's not an Anglican, a cultural Anglican perhaps. He's an atheist thick and thin. I can understand why he would hide under the Anglican banner though. Our relatives are pretty religious too. He might be just trying to keep the peace with both his Wife, and his family. If that's what he needs to do, then fair enough. This in a way made me somewhat lucky, as I only had one parent to deal with.

Me: You can't stop me from being an atheist
Mum: DON'T SAY THAT!!!

Atheism is the new Voldemort!

Me: Why?
Mum: You're EVIL! YOU'RE AN EVIL ATHEIST

I then went back to my room. Then Dad came in. Oh joy! He's certainly got an opinion too.

Dad: So you think religion doesn't give people good values?
Me: I didn't say that.
Dad: You said it's a lie
Me: No, the Bible is a lie. Look at Noah's Ark - Genocide!

He smiled. I wish I didn't say it was a lie. The Bible is not a "lie", that makes no (or little) sense! (grammatically at least. How can a book be a lie, that's silly - contain lies sure.) There are small elements of truth in there, and even bigger elements regarding the morals and values of the time, as well as an excellent recollection of what people back then might've believed and practised! Not to mention it's an excellent literary text that we've extracted numerous idioms and phrases from. To call it a "lie" is completely the wrong word, and I wish I said something better, such as it's not "true" - but even then that can be vague.

He then used the same apologetic as my mum, "we don't look at the Old Testament"
Me: But you all claim you get your morals and ethics from it
Dad: It's just stories
Me: That teach you morals and ethics! What - to rape and kill children?!

He smiled again, and said we disregard the Old Testament. I wasn't letting that one slip though, that was a key point, and possibly the crux of my argument, or one of at least. You cannot get off over The Ten Commandments and then turn around and say the rest is allegory - slipping the odd "but this one's true too" in every once and a while.

At one stage in the conversation I brought up the incest etc in the Bible, and he said that's why you ignore that stuff. I responded that's picking and choosing, to which he replied that's why we have brains - so we can choose to only focus on the good stuff, thinking for yourself. (Nonsense, we have brains because they help coordinate muscles. That other stuff added perks from evolution, to put it another way). At the time I thought he had a point, so responded with "some people take this shit literally - if you want it to be holy get this stuff out of here, and if they could think for themselves they would realize what a load of contradictory crap it is." In hindsight, I had a lot of good and bad arguments...

After I kept persisting him to answer the question on the Old Testament as he avoided and avoided time and time again, I eventually demanded - "answer the question!!" He left.

Regardless, I continued to tell my friend about what had happened on MSN. I was all shaken up.

The next morning, I was awoken to a "what about the New Testament, don't you believe Jesus died on the cross?"

Jesus! Ahh we meet at last. Good, I've been researching you. And so, presented the attained knowledge to my mother, one by one. Perhaps for irony I should've gone two by two.

• Only people who are a thread to the Roman Empire are crucified. Jesus was crucified along with some petty thieves. Yeah right. Thieves will bring down our economy!
• In one section of the Bible it says a man named Simon carried the cross for Jesus - in another there is no mention of Simon at all.
• It takes days to die on a cross. He was put up, died, and taken down - all on the same day!

Mum then interupted me saying they stabbed him in the side with a sword - IT'S ALL IN THE BIBLE, to which I responded, "they stabbed him in the side to check he was dead - why would they stab him on the first day? He's obviously not dead yet!

• People who died on the cross were left there for days and days and days until they died. And even when they did die they wern't taken down unless they had a loved one.

Mum responded saying 'they' took him down, to which I replied "that someone would've been Mary Magdalene, someone whom the church denies was ever married to Jesus."

It's important to note that the things I was saying were largely single sourced, that is, I hadn't bothered to really check any of the claims I'd heard and verify them against the facts. Much of the history elements I've become aware of I still haven't checked, because I wouldn't really know where to begin - nor do I really care that much. Christopher Hitchens spews history left and right in God is not Great: How Religion Poisons Everything. While reading this book I just took a skeptical eye towards everything he said. I had no idea whether to agree or disagree, cos there's no way I could know.

At this point Mum screwed up her face, and left the room. Great wake up call.

Later that day, or a few days later Mum said she had told my Nana I was an atheist. Her response was apparently "typical he would be". An argument then pursued, leading to Mum stressing out and my Dad having a conversation with me about it. She wanted nothing to do with it. The fact her son was an apostate heathen was probably disturbing her again. Although my Dad and I went into my room to chat where she couldn't hear me, she continued to barge in the door to yell at us. So much for not wanting to listen?

A few months ago I asked mum if I could have The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins for Christmas. She initially said no, as she thought it was evil stuff I was trying to brainwash myself with. I really wanted that book, and one day had a spray at her about how her delusions were imposing on my life, and I didn't want to have to put up with that. To my surprise, she eventually changed her mind. I can't help but think my spray made her think, made her realize her son is who he is, and should at least try to support him.